Exploring your mind's middle path.
by Brian Curtis, Ph.D.
If you're willing to play along, let's run a quick experiment:
Simply pay attention to the first answer that pops into your head after reading these questions:
1) Does a good parent yell at their kids?
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What answer did your mind immediately come up with?
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OK, here's the next one:
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2) Are you attractive enough?
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That was a fun one, ya?
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Well, attractive enough for who? How does a good parent act? Is there ever a time when it might be useful to yell at your kids?
We humans, we're judgment machines.
"I hate my boss!" "I'm not good enough." "That's stupid." "She's AMAZING! Why can't I be more like her?!"
This stuff is automatic.
However, the ability to step back and RECOGNIZE these automatic patterns of thinking can be surprisingly powerful. A superpower.
For the rest of today, see if you can take a mental step back and notice these automatic judgments that your mind comes up with.
These would be thoughts that might include the following words:
Good, bad, right, wrong, always, never, dumb, stupid, pretty, ugly, love, hate.
After we can recognize judgmental thoughts, an interesting next step is to think about the facts that may represent a more accurate middle path between our mind's judgmental extremes.
Does your roommate actually NEVER do the dishes?
Is your boyfriend ALWAYS late?
How might your relationship with yourself and others change when your thoughts and words become less extreme?
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- Brian
